Hailey Twitch is Not a Snitch

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Featuring a seven year-old mastermind who tries really hard not to blame her imaginary friend for getting her into heaps of delicious trouble, Lauren Barnholdt’s new series is both hilarious and heart-warming. Watch out Ramona, Judy, and the rest, Hailey Twitch is coming soon!

Excerpt

Chapter One

FRENCH FRIES

Addie Jokobeck sits next to me in Miss Stephanie’s second grade. Right now she is moving her pencil up and down and across while we practice our words that begin with “T.” Her pencil is just plain blue. It does not have glitter on it. Or feathers. Or sparkles. Like mine. That’s ‘cause Addie Jokobeck thinks glitter and feathers and sparkles make your printing wobbly.

“Hailey,” Addie whispers. “I think you should be keeping your eyes on your own paper.” She smiles at me. Addie Jokobeck is really in love with rules.

“Class,” Miss Stephanie says from her big desk at the front of the room. “I have a special announcement.” I sit up and pay attention. I love special announcements, as long as they are not: “Hailey Twitch please keep your eyes right on your own paper.”

“We are going to be doing a special project,” Miss Stephanie says. “For School Diversity week. You will
each be making food from a different country, and dressing up as a person from that country. Your parents will be helping you, and you will be doing it in partners.”

Partners! I love to work in partners! It is like half the work with twice the fun! I quick look to the front of the room for Antonio Fuerte. Antonio is from Mexico. He told me it is very hot and beautiful there. I try to catch his eye by wiggling my eyebrows up and down and giving him a look. The look says, “Me and you will be partners.” My second choice for partner is my friend Russ Robertson. This is because Russ is very easy to boss. I try to give Russ that same look.

But then Miss Stephanie says, “You will be partners with the person you sit next to.”

Miss Stephanie is a very good teacher. She has long blonde hair and wears lots of dress up pants. But she is not very good when she is telling me I am going to be partners with Addie Jokobeck who is really in love with rules.

Addie Jokobeck gives me a big wide smile, so big that I can see her one missing tooth on the top.

I raise my hand. “Maybe we should pick our own partners,” I say. “That might be fun.”

“No,” Miss Stephanie says. Then Miss Stephanie says that me and Addie Jokobeck will be doing the country of France.

“Oooh, I love France,” Addie says. “That’s where French fries come from.”

“My grandma has a French poodle,” I tell her. “It’s a girl dog, but she named it Stewart after my grandpa. It still goes to the bathroom a lot on her rug, even though she’s had it for five whole years.” Addie looks shocked. “France is not as exciting as Mexico,” I say. “It is very boring in France, I think, if the best thing they have there is French fries.”

On the way out of school, the meanest girl in room four, Natalie Brice, twirls around and says, “I am partners with Antonio.”

“That’s nice,” I say. Natalie Brice is not my friend because she thinks she is the boss of me. Being the boss of someone means that you are in charge of them. It means if you want them to do something you say, “You are going to do this right now” and they say, “Okay.”

“Who is your partner?” Natalie wants to know, even though she already knows the answer to that question.

“Addie Jokobeck, and we are doing France.” And then I decide to tell Natalie something else. “We are going to make something very good for our food, like a very delicious dessert with lots of whipped cream out of the can that we will be allowed to squirt as much as we want.”

“I think maybe we should make some French fries,” Addie Jokobeck says, popping up behind us.

“No,” I say, very bossy, “We are making a dessert.”

“We are doing Mexico,” Natalie Brice tells me. “Only me and Antonio say it like this – ‘Meh-i-co.’ I might even take a trip there with him.”

“Me and Hailey say ‘France’ like ‘France,’” Addie says.

And Natalie Brice rolls her eyes and runs to walk to the bus with Antonio Fuerte.

Copyright © 2010 by Lauren Barnholdt.

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